YOU stole my identity. YOU took everything away from me that I had going. YOU knew you were infected, yet didn't bother to tell me. YOU were playing Russian roulette with my life, and I lost. Lady GaGa said it right: "Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun." Yeah, it would probably be a lot less painful.
But I've located YOU. YOU weren't smart enough to change YOUR number. I went all Encyclopedia Brown on YOUR ass and was able to find you. It's been a number of years, a few guys, one long relationship, and a hell of a road. But I know now. I know what I have. I know what YOU did it to me. And I'm going to give your info to the right people, investigators, so they can do whatever they have to do to YOU. Press charges, prosecute, whatever. I don't care. As long as you feel an ounce of the pain that I have, I'll be happy.
I'm not one for revenge. I've held my grudges in the past, but have learned that they are unhealthy. How could I ever forgive YOU though? YOU knew what you were doing when I didn't. YOU had at least 15 years on me, YOU knew the good sides of life and the dark sides. I was 19. Young, naive, reckless. Alcohol was my best friend. Cocaine was even a little bit closer of a friend. I thought I was being young and having fun. YOU knew my vulnerability. And YOU sprung upon it. YOU tore me apart while I was having fun, only to silently work YOUR way back into my life through my T-Cells. I left YOUR house, YOUR bedroom that last day. Yet YOU never left me. YOU never will. As I live the rest of my long, adventurous life, the HIV YOU gave me, will forever multiply, go dormant, yet still be resilient if I miss my medication.
Are YOU happy?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
dude nick im sorry bro
ReplyDeleteNick,
ReplyDeleteI know what has happened to you is not something to take lightly. I know you're a strong person. I know that you can get through anything you put your mind to, including this HIV status. You're still Nick. You are the same person as yesterday, just a little more wise.
I know anger must be filling you right now, but I want to ask you something...How does this anger benefit you? Who ever gave you HIV did a pretty horrible thing to you, but if you dwell in the thoughts of him and the virus...It will take over your life.
I know you're better than that.
I know you're stronger than that.
I can not fathom having something like that happen to me, Nick. I can't say "this is what I would do in your shoes" because I have never been there, before. But I know that if you put some faith into your life, things will begin to heal. It will be a long journey, honey, but I really want you to know that I am here for you every step of the way. If you can't walk anymore, I will help carry you through. You're not alone and I promise with your friends and family you will NEVER be alone in this fight.
Just have faith, honey. Karma will come back around to who ever did this to you...but it's not in your hands. He didn't steal your identity...You're still Nick no matter what invades your body. You're still a friend to many, a loved one to family, and a guy trying to get through life. You're an amazing person, Nick, and I look up to you very much.
Just breathe in...and breathe out.
Carpe Diem :)
Love you.
-Janine
<3
ReplyDeleteI will keep you in my prayers. I know you will prevail.
ReplyDelete